Blood Drive: Listen Up Dumb Dumbs

Blood Drive, is “the meanest, nastiest, filthiest road race in the world” and they’re not about to let you forget it.

And I am going to do my very best to talk about it without giving anything away. I love a challenge, don’t you?

It’s Midnight Grindhouse’s little gift to cable and I’m very grateful. I haven’t been excited about a tv show in years and I don’t even own a tv. That’s why God gave little Zakkarrii a boyfriend…

Episode One: The Fucking Cop

It’s set in a dystopian world and I know you think you know what that means, but you don’t. More specifically, it opens in Los Angeles and personally, I think that gives space for the show to do whatever the hell it wants. New York would be too established with its landmark features insert beautiful shot of Central Park and then get the hell out and the show can’t be set in a small town because we’d be sitting here thinking, “Oh, of course, that’s why everything went to shit…backwoods.” No, it’s got to be Los Angeles, because you can’t replicate our brand of mischief.

It’s set in 1999 through the lens of the 70s grindhouse style, which isn’t a bad mix although the show feels very 2010s to me, but that might be just the way it was shot. (But what the fuck do I know, I just clocked into television)

The first character we meet is Grace d’Argento and the opening scene is supposed to set the tone right? I’m going to level with you. On one hand, I think the opening scene totally sets the tone for the show. It’s going to be sugar for your brain through writing and cinematic shots, with a heady dose of crazy. Cool, great, I’m in. I do, however, feel like I should tell someone that there is a hint of an attempted rape (it last about 3 seconds) and while there is no actual rape, it might be jarring to the unsuspecting.

Now that that’s out of the way…

How to describe the introduction to how dysfunctional society has become?

It’s gritty and decaying, like right before the city crumbles into debris-decaying. People are desperate, aggressive, or both but not mindless savages. They still cling to some semblance of human decency. (You just got reeeeeally look for it.) Everything seems to be a sport of wicked, perverse pleasure except for THE FUCKING COP. He’s so weighted down by his morals it’s like he’s got a second him on his own damn shoulders keeping him on the straight and narrow. Between Grace and Arthur, I like Grace more.

There’s also this one character is like the next coming of goth, Julian Slink, I hope the show gets ridiculous popular and everyone dresses up as him (but no one can do it better than…you know Julian Slink himself.) I think the acting for Slink is perfect. The whole range of giddiness to disappointment to wickedness, that’s a damn impressive actor, not going to lie. Did the directors just say “Let it all hang out.”?

After meeting the main characters and the getting the primer version of the landscape in every regard we’re traversing together on our little road trip through hell…
We get a little preview of the level of gore we can expect to be amped up throughout the season. How bad is the gore though? I hear you ask softly into your coffee. Well, I am glad you asked.

I don’t typically watch gore fests like this (is there anything like this?) From the trailers, and by the way, all 13 trailers are available to view now, it seems to be the above standard amount. Just below unwatchable in terms of intensity. It’s over the top, and obscene, after all, that’s the name of the game, right?

If you really don’t like it, they have a hotline you can call. Yes, a really real one! If their customer care is anything like their attention to psychotic detail, then I am sure you will be well taken care of. I would leave a message but they didn’t have an option for incessant squealing for Julian! Slink!

You know the cars run on human blood right? Did I forget to mention that? Because that’s a thing.
The race starts and we have Rib Bone, a grizzly looking mother fucker, Domi and Cliff clearly a dominatrix-from-that-one-cul-de-sac and her mousy looking husband, The Gentleman and The Scholar, who loooook…to be together, not sure yet, Clown Dick like I kid you not, there’s a character called Clown Dick in grindhouse show, Fat Elvis who I am not here for and looks like a colossal dick, and of course you know Grace and Arthur.

Warning: there is some nice booty to be seen in this show.

If anyone can guess what the plot twists will be ahead of time, I’m going to be super excited for your psychic ability.

Can we talk about commercials for a second?
I don’t know if it’s fitting or concerning that a lot of the ads that came up were car commercials, car insurance or just a regular commercial that looked like it was about to turn into one of the Heart Enterprises commercials. Now, I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop. #ThanksBloodDrive

But all good things must eventually come to an end
Temporary of course, because Blood Drive’s creators were kind enough to give you a chance to recover from you witnessed. We’re at the finish line now, because I can’t talk about what happens before it without giving anything away. If you like Wastelanders weekend, you’ll like this scene and how the people are all gathered up. At least the clothing reminds me a lot of Wastelanders, I don’t know about the activities taking place.

Besides the sex, it was a cool scene to watch. There was…um, sex, and chaos, and some very impressive footwork, all featured with some provocative camera angles. Like go, team, go. I particularly liked Julian’s (what, don’t even judge me) expressions throughout the scene and nicely it fit in with plot closer to the end. He might be more of a gentleman than The Gentleman…mmm, wait.

Spoke waaaaay too soon.

Awww and the cherry on top of the episode is Arthur getting a present.

Closing Thoughts
I like Blood Drive and while the violence is eye catching (poor choice of words?), I like the story more. Everything has its proper place between character and plot, I was left with less questions and mmore desire. It’s funny, visually pleasing and dramatic. Small note: while the background social dynamics of the this world probably won’t be explored or even glanced at, I think our own brand of freaks can appreciate the presentation. Oh and why is there a Prius here?!

Blood Drive airs at 10/9c on Wednesdays on Syfy and that might hold you through the week. No TV? No problem, you can watch full episodes on Look at me. Full. Episodes. Click HERE for Episode One. But if that’s still not enough to slack your blood thrist, follow them on Instagram, Facebook, and see more clips on YouTube.

For more teasing, take a moment to follow this blog by Joining the Strange Collective at the top of this page. If catching a peek through the window that is your cell phone is more your fancy, follow me on YouTube, Tumblr, Instagram and Facebook.

Until next time,

Don’t be hungry for life. Be ravenous.

Zakkarrii Edison Daniels

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