I don’t think you need the play by play of the madness that has happened since I was last here. My head hurts just to think about it, but I have to deal with some things before we return to our goth focused posts.
Humans are terrible aren’t they?
There are terrible people yes. People whose depth of depravity can turn the stomach of even the most profound lover of gore and horror. Because it’s real, it’s happening and I’m sure a lot of people feel powerless to stop it. Some argue that it starts with childhood, but I don’t buy that. Not entirely. (Because it reinforces the idea that there is nothing to change someone’s mind which then renders the point of talking to other people…well pointless). Some place blame on a corrupt, unbalanced system that creates situations that may lead people to do desperate things, and that…that is horrifying to me. It’s not just America, which is going through its personal nightmare, it’s how we communicate globally, whether it’s descriptions of vacations *insert borderline mocking impression of a local tour guide here* or how we view other countries as piñatas of cultural bounties, ripe for the picking, paid for with our deliberate refusal to pay any other attention to them in their time of need. Those attitudes are something we pass on to the next generation and we teach them how to be active in the world around them. But if the adults, the people voting in elections or for wars, don’t show any compassion, what hope is there?
We’re fucked then, I guess.
But we’re not. I see so many people pride themselves on their ability to empathize with others, their ability to hold the most intellectually stimulating conversations and cut through any bullshit, and yet they are silent. So when onlookers who respect and idolized these people see them give up and/or turn a blind eye, they learn that it’s not important. They attribute value like recipes: a spoonful of admiration for their skill set, an ounce of respect for starting from the bottom, a gallon of blind trust because well if they got to the top, then must be doing something right.
We might be fucked now, but we don’t have to be fucked forever. The time of turning a blind eye to problems that “don’t concern you” is kind of over, don’t you think? Some of my dearest goth siblings, white goths in particular, face a cascade of bullshit (vicious responses) to their posts about race, about equality, about sexism. A month ago, a friend posted a video of us together at Bat’s Day. Within an hour, there were two dozen racist comments. One. Month. Ago.
You have no idea the power you hold, especially if you’re educated about something, even from just having a different perspective. If you’re as smart as you think you are I, yes me and so many other people, need you to learn how to not give up and learn how to have effective conversations. Whatever small thing I can do to lessen someone’s fear of the world is significant, because it will carry through to their decisions.
So “love is all you need” *eye roll*
Oh no. I’m far more selfish than that. I love supporting my goth community, fuck yeah I love this place. I love the individuality that has no other outlet, the creativity I cannot dream up within myself and how aware of our ridiculousness we can be. I love when we all get home safe and can bitch about the most trivial things, because tonight, thank god, that’s our biggest problem, that we can fight about shit and live another day to make up, throw money back and forth into each other’s business. Fuck. Yes. And I take that way of interacting with me to other aspects of my life, especially the ones far removed from goth and alternative culture. Not out of this idealized sense of love, like “love will save us all” and that’s the end of it, but out of respect for the fact you got up today to go to your job at Starbucks or Whole Foods or a recording studio or make an item to list on Etsy, the compassion for the fact, bitch sometimes life is fucking hard and you feel like you’ll break.
I always see hate like this. It starts small, it’s January, a Monday and it’s ingrained in our culture to hate Mondays. Someone cuts you off, that motherfucker. You get a note about your attitude from your boss because Diane decided she don’t like you no more for whatever reason. (At least I’m not a trampled horse face Diane!) You forgot to get food before work so now your stressed about when and what you’ll eat. You don’t. Stop at the grocery store, little place run by Inidian people from like India India. There’s a language barrier. They can’t find what you’re looking for, so you get breathy and annoyed. “Just forget it.” You sit in your car, you want to cry ” Can honestly nothing go right today? Fuck me.” Fast forward to April, decent day, not too stressful. You watch a show with a “diverse” cast, they make some stereotypical jokes you laugh, “I have seen them act like that. Omg so true.” Fast forward to November, it’s Saturday, you take the bus, someone from a country that must have a population problem is standing to close for comfort. You’ve had it. “*sigh* what is it with you people, this is America, God.”
It builds and builds, and this is why we talk about the benefit of privilege. Not to make YOU feel bad, but to explain you got to see all the variations people who look like you can come in (and this doesn’t have to be white. It’s whatever the perceived primary racial/gender/ sexual orientation/etc group is) and some don’t get that. I got so much shit for being a female photographer, which blew my mind. I get shit for being pansexual like my love is not as valuable or understandable as a heterosexual relationship. It was so easy to cave into hate for a little while, but it didn’t make me happy or feel safer. I can’t avoid everyone who is different from me and lord knows that’s a long list of people. Lol. So I decided to go into every encounter the way I want to be seen and treated, and when bullshit comes up, address it the same way I’d like to be addressed for whatever bullshit I might say or do.
Just because I am hurt, does not give me license to hurt others. We do not know who is good and who is evil upon sight and we should never rob someone of the opportunity to be good with our prejudice.
Why do I have to be the reasonable, rational one and other people get to be jackasses?
Because I haven’t gotten to meet them yet, so help me out here. (Let me have this one, this is such a heavy post). But here is the thing, let’s take a group of mildly bigoted people. In this group there are probably people who are actively enforcing their prejudice, who relish it thoroughly. There is always a scale somewhere and every scale has extremes, so there are probably people in that group who do not know any better or different. You do. Don’t you? So I’m not saying hunt down every single bigoted thing they say or do, but if YOU see it…maybe, say something. Because if they see someone of their similar social group not saying anything, it is ALWAYS perceived as approval. (Obviously it’s not, but you’re not stopping it….sooooo….) Then they feel they can do or say those things more publicly with cruelty because it’s not bad. So remember when we were talking about that hate starts small?
So does love. So does change.
To experience what mischief I’ve been up to in my absence, I highly recommend you go check out the YouTube channel and the store. It seems to have gotten…stranger. Huh. For other brighter sides to living the strange life, you know where to find me: Instagram and Facebook.
Until next time,
Don’t be hungry for life. Be ravenous.
Zakkarrii Edison Daniels