I’ve been feeling super depressed the last few days and then was this lovely post on Facebook. I do understand it comes from a place of kindness and maybe any other day I would show gratitude but today….I’m not having it. So here is how I deal with my depression.
Go through the motions. I know going through the motions is exhausting to even think about and sometimes you honestly don’t care enough to begin. But it’s the littlest things that can make all the difference right? If driving to get coffee is a part of your normal routine, it could be a brief pleasant drive, a stranger could show you a small kindness like letting you order first, you could see something that inspires your creativity. Sometimes we get off track or don’t know where we’re going and it’s the familiar that keeps us rooted.
Exercise. A lot of people say go for a walk or run but I really won’t because I don’t want to be around other people. So I dance most nights, sometimes I do push ups or something simple in the privacy of my home. It’s a little way to set a goal for yourself like ten push ups, and accomplish it.
Figure out what’s setting it off. Now I’m prone to bouts of depression but I’m not depressed more days than not. I might not have the strength to deal with things head on with the fury of a tiger right this second, but I can usually pick up a pen and write out possibilities for dealing with it. Or find out what specifically I can change and what I can’t. For example, on a superficial level I’m depressed because I don’t think I’m as good as other people. What i’m really depressed about is how inconsistently I post and how little I interact with people. Right now in the midst of it I can make a list of topics I want to write about eventually, draft a few that might need more detailed attention and slowly work on those things. It may not fix all things I’m depressed about but it is now one less thing.
Eat and sleep. A few days ago, I was on a creative high like no other. I was writing, I was talking to people, I finished up so many things for the Etsy, and was enthusiastic to start new ones. Then I crashed. Never underestimate the power of a good rest and a nice meal and sometimes yes, you have to take it easy. It took me forever to accept that I was going to have boss days and not so boss days and that I had to lose a few days to recover as opposed to a whole month trying to do everything. Let yourself breathe, forgive yourself, eat at least a little something, and relax.
Remember you are capable of so much. Yes, sometimes I cry and think I am the worst human being to ever dare walk across the face of the earth. I go for long ass memory romps through every barely terrible thing to the worst thing I have ever done. This is sometimes okay because we call it reflection. It’s sometimes torture because I refuse to let myself leave that place. So how do I get out? There are always going to be moments where you feel like life is testing you. What would you do differently and what would be a better way to deal with that situation? Hold onto the future you that will do better next time. Accept and let go of the past you that fucked up. See you can progress and be good, do good. What other things have you done well? Or when was the last time you felt really good about something? Anything? Eating a whole meal? Keeping panic at bay? Resisting a cigarette? They may be small accomplishments that no one knows but you and that’s okay. It’s important that you know them and remember them.
There are lots of ways to help deal with depression but these are the five I’m working with right now. Also Tumblr helps me a lot. Money can also have a huge impact on depression but I want to do that as a separate post. Please remember I believe in you and us interacting is something I hold onto everyday as a possible future. You are not your depression’s bitch. You are not anything less because of this. You will never be anything less. You can always be stronger for this. In case of self harm, I did find this extensive list: http://wrspc.ca/training-resources/enormous-list-of-anti-self-injury-strategies/
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Until next time,
Don’t be hungry for life. Be ravenous.