Anxiety Attacks Come in Waves

Currently dealing with a series of anxiety attacks that are getting worse over time. Been up since earlier this morning, should be exhausted but I’m not. So instead of wallowing and tossing and turning, I’m going to be productive. Sleep deprivation could be contributing this, but I am anxious about specific things and like all “good” people I ignored it. Mmmm how to break this down. A person, a place and a thing would be too…no…let me get some coffee.

People related anxiety. The facts are no one owes you anyone loyalty. People are allowed to change their minds whenever it suits their needs. If you allow yourself to be selfish you must allow others to do the same. All I can do is try to be a good friend even if it doesn’t matter. At the same time I shouldn’t invite people to take advantage of me by giving them higher priority than myself. I have my plan. Eyes on the prize.

Place things. All I can do with this one is be resourceful, be prepared and hope.

Thing things….again eyes on the prize. I can really take advantage of the opportunities I’ve been given and get a lot done. Caving into shaky feelings of doubt and being concerned with other people is just going to slow me down. I might only get one chance to do this and I might as well go as big as I can. There would be so much regret if I faltered even for a second. Deep breaths, head high, and eyes on the prize.

I don’t have time to waste going through this crap. I am hungry for experiences of my own. People should not alter the life I want for myself. Setbacks are challenges to prove my mettle. People either help or get passed by. That’s the rule now.

This is so vague and so dark but it helps tremendously. I can breathe again.

Mmkay. In summary, look past the fog. Harder. No harder than that. Let the frustration become your hunger to see yourself in a better position in life to do better, to meet the best version of you. The road underneath the fog is treacherous filled with all manner of things to trip you up. Drama, distractions, and monsters. Focus. Remember what you came here for. Simba…remember me…

I’m sorry. I get caught up in my metaphors sometimes.

Until next time,

Don’t be hungry for life. Be ravenous.

Z.e.D.

One thought on “Anxiety Attacks Come in Waves

  1. inertialconfinement

    So sorry to hear you are going through anxiety–but thank you for sharing your thoughts. Reading your words helps me realize I am not alone. I’ve been working on the “don’t give others higher priority than yourself” rule. I find it difficult to set boundaries, but I’m slowly getting better at it.

    “Don’t be hungry for life. Be ravenous.”

    I love this line. Thank you for your words. Wishing you lots of healing.

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