I don’t even know how to do this, so let’s just do it. In my twenty two years I’ve learned some things, some things I think might be useful to people if they’re anything like me.
It is okay: to say how you really feel, like when you don’t want to hang out or talk. It’s okay to start something you imagine being brilliant in your head and when you try to create it in any medium, it is a huge mess. You probably learned something from that that will be useful in your next future endeavor. It is okay to have shitty nights where you cry about everything, sometimes things that haven’t even happened yet as long as you find a way to deal with it. It is okay to say hi to strangers that you make awkward eye contact with.It is okay to leave if you feel uncomfortable. It is okay to let your passion radiate from every single goddamn pore you have, and it is okay to be scared. It is okay to like things, it is okay to think differently, and it is okay that some popular things really aren’t that interesting to you.
You should never: be so afraid of being alone that you put up with people who hurt you. No loneliness is so great to make worthy the scars those friendships will bring you. Never do shit to be accepted by other people. People who are worth being friends would never force you to do anything. NEVER. Never be afraid to ask for help or fail. Everyone looks “stupid” at least 50,000 times in their life and sometimes the best memories are from those “stupid” moments. Never tell yourself you are ugly or unworthy of living (even though I super guilty of this and I’ll elaborate on this in a future post.) Never give up on yourself, you can be your greatest enemy or your greatest ally.
Learn: to love passionately, constantly, consistently. It can be exhausting at times, but oh my god is it worth it. (I am the lady of the fountain of feels.) Keep trying. Keep creating, even if you do nothing all day, at least make one creative thing, anything. Learn to communicate with other people, even if they’re hateful and disagree with you. Learn the value of perspective. Learn the value of patience. Learn to harness the power of words and actions. Learn to love yourself, completely. Learn the concept of “breaking the mold” is stupid and that sometimes you’ll do it unintentionally. learn why you do things, everything. The more answers you have, the better you will know yourself. Keep learning constantly, devour knowledge, apply it everywhere and if there’s no situation to exercise it, turn it into something creative. Learn to give.
You, and you alone give yourself a reason to live. People can offer all the suggestions they want, but you build and shape the meaning, that value yourself. It might take awhile, and that’s okay. It might be unconventional and that’s okay too. But it’s yours.
The idea of being original is weak as fuck. The most unique individuals never gave a damn about that shit and look what they accomplished. They got there by being true to themselves, trying new things, and laughing in the faces of hesitation and other people’s limitations and fears. They did not wake up and say “I will become an original person.” They said “I am a person and I have shit I want to do.” They took things they loved and redefined them. They shared interests and collaborated. They borrowed and sometimes outright stole ideas. Do not use it to judge other people’s work, particularly the concept. Look at what people did with it, that’s the shit that fucking matters.
Everything is a resource, including bad experiences. No, especially bad experiences. Carry a notebook, become a student of life, take notes on what shit to avoid in the future, instagram the crap of things you want to remember and places you want to visit and visit again. Preserve what you want to preserve. Or live in that moment, don’t take a picture of it. Just bask in the perfection of that sunset that will only happen once (oh clouds how did you get so yes) or that magnificent cake you will probably never see or eat again. Make Tumblr your happy place, make YouTube a profession, become Etsy royalty, but you have too much in this life with which to do so little.
Never be bored. Boredom is death, so is idleness.
Make a flow chart of your personal issues stuff so you can identify things to work on.
Cry obnoxiously at every movie that makes you feel something, people who worked on it live that moment. Also never fake laugh, give credit where credit is properly due.
Take responsibility for your actions, all of them, always. Be able to explain yourself. Recognize when other people are vulnerable, going through blind rage, or just illogical. Learn to deal with those things and their combinations. Also never drive drunk, what the fuck is that shit about?
The most important thing I’ve learned is that one day I will not get to experience things the way I do now. I might not get tomorrow. So I make sure that whatever I do that day is something I would be okay with being the last thing I might do. (Oh yeah, you thought this superficial la la? I’m deep sea driver looking for the giant squid of life.) That the friends I’m with now are people I would want at my funeral and to know my other friends, and maybe one day my kids and the rest of my family. I won’t get to say a lot of things to people so I say them now. Yes make plans for the future, five minutes from now I’m go to go smoke, next week I’ll be in Disneyland, and the week after that sending out my applications. But now, I’m here doing this and that makes me happy. So it’s worth it.
Until next time,